12-Step Programs & Personal Growth

Reflections

Photo by Zetong Li on Unsplash

As a psychotherapist and licensed professional counselor, I often reflect on the pivotal experiences that shaped my professional and personal development. Among these, my involvement with 12-Step programs holds a significant place, alongside individual psychotherapy. These two approaches complemented each other, offering unique avenues for growth and self-discovery.

Misconceptions About 12-Step Programs

One common misconception about 12-Step programs is the belief that participants must subscribe to a specific religious faith, or even believe in God, to fully engage. This is simply untrue. While it’s accurate that some groups reflect the predominant religious culture of their communities, the diversity within 12-Step programs is vast, particularly in urban areas. Larger cities tend to host groups with a more eclectic membership, offering varying interpretations of spirituality and inclusivity. I met many of my LGBTQ+ friends in those rooms, which became a safe and welcoming space for open dialogue and shared experience.

For instance, in groups with a predominantly religious tone, members may recite The Lord’s Prayer. Meanwhile, in more diverse and urban settings, such as the ones I attended, you’re more likely to hear The Serenity Prayer or participate in a nonsectarian meditation. These variations illustrate that 12-Step programs are flexible frameworks, adaptable to a wide range of beliefs and practices.

Grappling With the Concept of a Higher Power

My own journey with the 12 Steps was shaped by my upbringing. I was not raised in a religious household, and the urban, diverse community around me was filled with highly educated professionals—doctors, lawyers, musicians, and teachers—who often approached spirituality with skepticism or nuance. The traditional concept of “God” as an old, bearded man in the clouds didn’t resonate with me. When I was told that I could define my own Higher Power (HP), I initially struggled. While some members suggested the group itself could serve as an HP, I found this idea unconvincing. Groups, after all, can be flawed and sometimes unhealthy—veering dangerously close to cult-like dynamics.

Eventually, I found my own understanding of a Higher Power in the concept of time. Time is vast, immutable, and beyond human control. It meets the criteria of being greater than oneself while remaining universal and neutral. Unlike traditional images of deity, time does not demand belief—it simply exists, shaping all things equally. Time became my grounding force, offering a lens through which I could interpret the principles of the 12 Steps.